


Rayon Exodus: Kill la EVA

by the_digby



Category: Kill la Kill, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Action/Adventure, Eldritch Abominations, F/F, Fluff, Giant Robots, Grand theft motorcycle, Humor, Ice cream koans, Less evil Ragyo, Mash-up, Philosophy, Well maybe less evil, dorks being dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 15:53:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4106524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_digby/pseuds/the_digby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryuuko never wanted to go to Neo-Tokyo. She certainly didn't want to get involved with her rat-bastard mother. But life had other plans... Obvious NGE mashup.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rayon Exodus: Kill la EVA

Ryuuko was mildly irritated.

That was her default state of mind, though. It meant little, other than a sort of creeping, general discomfort and anger over having to move. Having to wait for a ride at the airport for two hours, though?

That could have well started her on the road to being pissed. However, she was nothing if not a resourceful girl. 

\--

"Two hours?"

"She is a very aggressive girl. I anticipate that I'll have to keep he a little off balance today just to keep her from steamrolling me." The field commander still wore her scientist's lab coat - once a lab rat, always a lab rat. Her prematurely white hair was immaculately coiffed in a stylish, classic bob.

"And Misato?"

"Also to keep her off balance."

"I was not aware your daughter was a pubescent boy." She merely smiled.

"I am aware of her proclivities. Apples and trees and all that. I expect Misato will be calling to confirm the pickup in..." She grew quiet. "Ah."

"Ah?"

"Five minutes ago."

\--

"Wow! A ten percent tip! That super trumps my last negative three percent tip. If this keeps up I'll be getting sixty thousand percent per delivery by the end of the day... and tomorrow -" The girl gasped. "What if it's not exponential growth but a sinoidal wave? I could lose everything... no! No getting greedy! Tonight I make my millions, and tomorrow... Fiji!" Utterly proud of her insane plan, the croquette delivery girl barely registered the civil defense siren. She was too busy hopping on her bike and charging off to the next delivery.

She didn't even notice that she wasn't riding her delivery bike anymore, but a dirt bike that someone had left parked nearby. In the spot where she had actually been parked, a quick note promised to bring it back to the shop.

The hijacker was currently doubting that.

\--

Her phone rang. She cursed and picked up.

"I can't talk, I'm on the road."

"Ryuuko?" She winced. Her mother's voice.

"Oy. You do remember me. I was starting to wonder-"

"Where are you?" A reickle of ice ran through her words. "I sent one of my best to get you-"

"Whoever he is, he sucks. I was waiting a couple hours. Had to get a ride myself."

"What -" she stammered, unaccustomed to being this off course. "What is that noise?"

"A Hondo Super Koala." Her tone plainly said "duh".

"A - fine, fine. Just get whatever you're on to the building at the town center. We have a Weave sighting."

"There's closer shelters..."

"Forget them. Come here." The phone died, and in a.fit of frustration, she threw it away. 

So she wanted to finally see her daughter? Fine. But this was going to end with her punching the hag in the face... after she lived through the Weave. The motor gunned - or "lightly buzzed", anyway - and she plowed on, as the wind turned from a sound whistling past her ears into a torrent of screaming death, threatening to slam her sideways.

**Author's Note:**

> Hoo hoo! Not bad for something tossed together on a phone, eh? Okay, it's not "Bass is Not A Fish" or anything, but I'm having fun with it. Expect more in the days to come. This is just a prelude.
> 
> Obvious post fic disclaimer: I own nothing. No sue. Thanks.


End file.
